Hong Kong Jokes

Here are a few Hong Kong jokes from “the Hong Kong Joke Book” by Nury Vittachi. These were written a while back but jokes are jokes and some can be timeless. Keep in mind that this book was published in 1995.


Angry chef: “I was making dims long before you were born.”

Wong: “I know. They taste that old.”


A tourist stops Bok-Choi in Pedder Street.

The Englishman says: “me wantee findee toilet chop-chop. Where me findee toilet?”

Bok-Choi replies in a perfect English accent: “There are toilets in the Prince’s Building, just over there. You wantee mee helpee you learn talkee English?”


The judge looks down at Eggie Ng, who was in the dock again. “Not you! I though I said the last time you were here that I never wanted to see you here again?”

Ng replies in an aggrieved tone of voice: “You did, your honour – and I told the ICAC officer that, but he insisted on arresting me anyway.”


Definition of Hong Kong society: “People spending money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like.”


A newly-arrived American goes into the Hong Kong Club in the Height of summer. “Gimme something tall, cold and full of gin,” he says to the barman.

“Certainly sir,” says the barman – and leads the American to where the British members hang out.


Kwan was famous for not paying his debts. Yet his alimony bill he paid every month, personally delivering the cheque to the bank. Two of his bankers at Hong Kong Bank were discussing the situation in their office.

“Some of his creditors are big and scary, yet it is his alimony payment that he never misses. I wonder why?”

“He told me once. He’s scared that if he misses a few payments, his wife can repossess him.”



If you would like to read more jokes from Vittachi you can buy the book online, just click here